What happens to sex bloggers or bloggers who sometimes write about sex when they hit a sex drought? Do they stop writing? Have they lost their raison d’etre? Or do they keep going, move onto writing erotica, dredge their imagination for filthy memories and create hot new imaginings from that filth laden bed?
I am asking because I am in that situation. There have been no pulse raising meet ups not explicit heart rushing sexting for a while. Probably not that long if I look at it with a clear eye but that is not how it feels. It feels like a drought, it feels like I am drying up into an old maid before my time, it feels deadening and I don’t know what to do about it.
Real life intrudes constantly The constraints on my time and those who I love to wrap my legs around seem to make it impossible for them to travel to me to meet. The constraints on my purse make it impossible for me to travel to them and this last month has also seen me have to pack away and unpack a home after finding a new one so there has been even less time than normal.
I am so fed up of real life though, of the ordinary and mundane having centre place in my life. I want some mind shattering orgasms, some leg trembling fingering, some application of pressure and pain and their gasping, heaving release.
I want some sex!
A swinger friend of mine has told me ‘eye you are dong it wrong, we women can always get cock.’ I think she is right, but whilst I don’t need to feel involved in a romantic relationship with someone to sleep with them I do need to know that they are not a dick, aren’t deceiving someone else to be with me and have respect for my slutty nature. I have had enough nastiness, blame and shame to last me a lifetime and I will not go there again. I also want some companionship. To have chance to dress up and go out to dinner, I would love to go to the opera, I adore art galleries, theatre, coffee, good cake and hugs. I like sex too. Did I say that?
What prompted this post was the desire to be nominated for the sex bloggers awards being sponsored by Kinkcraft. It feels awkward and needy to be that upfront about wanting the validation but I do. I am under no illusions that I would be anywhere near a chance of winning and I realised when acknowledging that desire that I wasn’t talking about sex or writing about sex because of the current drought conditions in my life. I suppose this is also another place where I feel on the sidelines unable to join in. VL is no different from RL in this respect and once again I recognise that we bring ourselves to our experience here and myself at this moment is feeling disconnected and dried out but write about that I must since that is what I do.
I promised myself this time last year after such a shockingly awful time that I would prioritise my writing, myself and my choices. Old habits die hard though and in-spite of my earnest desire to kill the fuckers they still hang on and trip me up at times. One of these is to believe that other things, prioritised by others and not me are more important because they have been prioritised by someone other than me. I am killing that one again right now. Surrounded by boxes, with no tea cooking I am writing using the internet connection of the old people’s home next door – dear God I am such a rebel – and fighting my way back to me. To a land of plenty where there is no drought, only a choice to be made of which particular drink to savour this evening.
Here’s the link to nominate sex blogs for 2016 – it’s easy to do so, just scroll the bottom of the comments and add the link. Cheers 💋